The Beijing penis restaurant
There are some weird and wacky things to eat out there in the world. Over the years, I’ve tried scorpion, silkworm and even tarantula. But they were nothing compared to this experience of eating animal penis.
The first thing that surprised me was the actual restaurant. I was expecting a strange, small, dark establishment appropriate for the dodgy cuisine we were able to try.
In my mind this was quite a subversive thing to be doing and I thought the décor would reflect that – I imagined furtively glancing around at other patrons as we bit into a forbidden food, sharing an unspoken and guilty feeling of naughtiness.
So it was quite a shock to walk into a rather posh restaurant with private rooms, crystal goblets, gold cutlery and a personal waitress who would explain the health benefits of the appendages we were about to taste.
Apparently penis is quite a delicacy in China and the other rooms were full of businessmen who were clearly trying to impress.
The menu showed the types of penis we could choose and they certainly didn’t look too appetizing on paper. Still, we went with a platter that had three types of penis, as well as donkey meat and a turtle soup. (In the end I probably felt more queasy about the turtle than anything, but that’s a family thing.)
The waitress was very proud of the cuisine and went to great lengths to explain the food in detail (and in Chinese).
There was great health to be had from eating the penis and it even had aphrodisiac qualities.
The whiter meat was better for the women and the darker meat should be eaten by the men.
The meat was complemented by the broth it was cooked in and together they created a yin and a yang. And so on.
But I forgot most of the information when she put three plates on the table and described them as bull penis, lamb penis and black dog penis. We all gasped. My god, they looked like cock!
We stared at them for a while, not quite sure what to do. It had all seemed a bit of a laugh until the meal was actually presented, us staring at it and it staring back with its plates of one eyes.
I was also expecting the penis to be served in a stir-fry or a hotpot. But, no, they were just all piled up on a plate like a bowl of chips.
Now, I’m going to stop here for a second because the thing you need to know about eating penis is that the experience is not about the taste so much, but about the texture.
There isn’t a really strong flavour to it, especially when you dip it into a sauce. But there is a very distinct feel to the food as you chew it and let it slide down your throat.
You can’t just chomp away at this while you chat and drink. Each piece you put in your mouth is an effort.
The bull penis was the most like an actual meat – slightly sinewy and slimy it took a few bites before you could swallow and tasted pretty much like fat.
The lamb penis was like a tendon – long and thin in shape and chewy beneath the teeth. It had a slightly more distinctive taste that was somewhere between rubber and revulsion.
The black dog penis, though, had a rather dirty taste and was the hardest to swallow. It required a lot of chewing before it was soft enough and the flavour changed several times as the juices were released. This one needed a lot of sauce to make it palatable.
Needless to say, we didn’t get through all the food that was put on our table. I think our waitress realised we were here more for the experience than for a hearty meal.
Not all the food in Beijing is like this! There are some incredible dishes here and I would recommend discovering them with this fantastic food tour!
Towards the end of the dinner she even brought in a large gelato in the shape of an erect penis (complete with veins) that had been leftover from another room’s meal.
This may be a delicacy in China, but surely it’s all about the show for most of the customers because it’s not the most pleasurable dining experience you can have here in Beijing.
With so many great foods on offer, I’m glad we gave it a go and tried it. I won’t be rushing back, though…
If you are interested in discovering some GOOD food in Beijing, there are some excellent food tours of the city. I would recommend this breakfast tour of the hutongs for a very local experience. Or there are some other options here:
Where can I eat at the Beijing penis restaurant?
The restaurant with animal penis as its specialty is called Guolizhuang (锅里壮). There are actually a few different locations in Beijing but I would recommend going to the one in the Dongcheng District.
They hardly speak any English there, so it would be best to go with someone who can speak Chinese or you never know what you’ll end up putting in your mouth. Also keep in mind that it’s quite a high-end restaurant by Beijing standards so you might want to dress appropriately.
The English address is 34B Dongsishitiao, Dongcheng district, about 500 metres of Dongsihitiao Bridge, on the south side of the road. But you can show these Chinese characters to a taxi driver to get you there:
东城区东四十条桥往西500米路
THE BEST ACCOMMODATION IN BEIJING
Although it’s an enormous city, you’ll find most of the best places to stay in Beijing in the neighbourhoods to the east and northeast of the Forbidden City.
BACKPACKER
Although it’s more expensive than your average hostel, Peking Youth Hostel is definitely the best in the city, with a good location and helpful staff.
BUDGET
Although it’s great value, Sunworld Hotel Wangfujing feels quite upmarket, with lots of facilities and a good location.
BOUTIQUE
Enjoy the stunning views from the spacious rooms at the Mandarin Oriental Wangfujing, where there’s also a gorgeous indoor pool.
LUXURY
An absolutely gorgeous hotel, the Rosewood Beijing has impeccable service, an indoor pool, and excellent dining.
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth…
Adam Rocker? Coz this is Dylan Rocker from Ohio. Dahaha
Me too
Oh Turtle that’s awful!!!!!!! And descriptive. I gagged at the dog dick. Eeewwwwww! Good on you for giving it a try though.
Interesting way to spend an afternoon! Good on you for giving it a try! (passes some mouthwash over to you)
Experience or naw…many diff cultures partake in cuisine im sure we couldn’t imagine, but my thing is I’ve not heard of an animal w/multiple penises soooo how do you get it from the living or dead? Do they survive the ordeal? I mean how do they get the penises off? And how many animals have to lose their penises for a party to have a platter of penises to eat? Are they whole or sliced & the black dog dixk was tough bc it’s just tough or the way it was cooked? I have too many questions to ever try this….Bejing one day I hope to visit, but I’m gone stick to the other cuisine….this is beyond me. Now the turtle soup poor little turtles…I’ve heard of Tarantula meals, not for me but that’s the only thing common I guess (& turtle soup I grew up on a farm w/21 others & I DON’T DO SOUP at all lol) lastly, Donkey Meat which part of the ass?
Turtle soup? REALLY?? That’s a bit sad.
And there’s no way I’m putting penis in my mouth!! er ..ar .. um .. hang on …
You said it, Lisa… 🙂
They should be killed for cooking up animal penis for the China people to eat I read a few months ago a China man smuggled 536 animal penis on a plane back to China and the animal they killed so they could eat dick were left to raw in Sun because they only cut off the penis and the nuts and they eat animal nuts like we do popcorn. They are a nasty sick people who need to get all the men in all of Asia and a shape knife and start to cut and throw on ground in the dirt so the buzzerd can eat them and that be funny I don’t care who you are.
Hell yeah
you’re a psycho whom I will not be forgiving
Degoutante ziekelijke volk in china! Vieze vuile dierenmoordenaars! Hebben niks van gevoel of respect voor dieren! slechte volk!
That right there is just racism, not everybody here eats animal penis. What if I said all of you American because eats a fuck ton of burgers every day and y’all stupid and fat af so u need to diee. Does that sound right to you?
Whoops wrong comment I was going for the one below yours, sorry
The address is “34B Dongsishitiao, Dongcheng district, about 500 metres of Dongsihitiao Bridge.”
DONGsishitiao, DONGchen
Are you #%$^ kidding me?!” AHHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHA
Ha ha – I hadn’t thought about it like that before. Pretty funny! 🙂
Hi Turtle, I am new to your blog (you are living my dream by the way) and this is the first post I read.
Now I am not sure what to think!
Please don’t judge it by this post alone! I promise they’re not all about penis! 🙂
Well to each his own
That gelato really takes the cake haha It really shows how much of a gimmick the whole setup is, like you said, rather than a hearty meal. I think you’re pretty brave to have tried any of them.
The gelato was certainly a highlight. Mainly because, unlike everything else, it actually tasted nice!
Your dream is to eat penis???
Ha ha!
My god, this makes me want to vomit. I have serious issues with texture and the way you described this just sounds revolting.
I wouldn’t recommend it at all if you have issues with texture. That’s the worst thing about it all! Yech, I even hate remembering it…
Good lord. Turtle, I salute you. God knows how you managed to swallow without gagging.
I’m really impressed with the centerpiece of the penis plate though; as if a bunch of flowers and a few sprigs of parsley are going to detract from the grossness of it all?!
I don’t know how I did it. It was not particularly nice at all. The centrepiece was a classy touch, right?
I am quite speechless by this post. I would eat anything…but penis…errr…I guess you’re a brave man?
It was not the tastiest thing I’ve ever had. That much I will confess. And, I have to say, I don’t think I’ll be rushing back to try it again.
I agree…
ha ha love the gelato penis!
It’s certainly not your average dessert!
sounds great … gelato :))
Ha ha – I’m not sure if you would go there just for the gelato 🙂
I just leave in a hurry with a bowl of Turtle soup to go. This meal doesn’t sound kosher to me 😀
Ha ha – no, I don’t think there’s anything kosher about it at all. And that probably includes the turtle soup! 🙂
Thats a very cool post. I had posted a step by step cooking turtle Chinese way! on my blog but I had to remove (after receiving tons of emails)
Congrat!
Yusuf
Oh no! While I didn’t really like the idea of a turtle being at the bottom of the broth, I don’t see why you had so many complaints if you were simply explaining a traditional dish!
Which girl wants to eat my penis? Well, please don’t tear it apart with your mouth like the ones you took for dinner in the restaurant.
But the dare makes me really hard to trust a sexy mouth that ate one of those dicks to play-tease with gentle teeth on my dickmeat.
OH my gosh!
My numbers of estrogen is getting higher because of that food!!
I think i should cook my husband’s penis so that i can taste some.
You can eat mine
You can eat mine if you want
You can eat mine if you want to I’d enjoy it
There is a time when “when in Rome” shouldn’t apply and this is one of them. Animal abuse is high in the agenda in China and u can bet your bottom dollar that the dog in particular would have suffered a cruel and inhumane death. Just because you are travelling doesn’t mean you can switch off your moral compass.
Absolutely!!
Backpacking mate, yours is a logical comment. You are sensible and your mother is proud
True
Muito interessante. Gostei do blog, parabéns pelo conteúdo!
Poor journalism. No it’s not a gimmick. It’s not about the taste nor the texture. Eating animal penis in China is a delicacy for its presumed effect: virility and stamina. It was/is believed by the Chinese that eating animal penis assists in the art of gettin’ down and dirtay. Lol. Monkey brains and human fetuses are also on their list of cuisine.
Thanks for the comment, Ben. I hope I got the point across in the story that this is a delicacy for the local people – it’s an international visitor like me who finds it all a bit strange. You’re completely right – for the businessmen I referred to, this is all about virility and strength.
Did you get your mojo after all that penile cuisine?? Curious, or is it just disgusting like rhino horn cutting, and let animal die..$##@$!! You’re more brave than I. Boner apatite!
OMG !
and u are calling all this cuisine !!!!!!!
Human fetuses ! Are chinese , cannibals ?
Lol r u retarded
It’s animal penis u white uneducated thot
its an strane new idea ! may be serve a suop same to cream too …
Strange
I guess “Go eat a bag of dicks” has a slightly different connotation in China!
i had a good laugh, thanks.
this is the real deal with pics and all.
you are a brave man, turtle!
you are fucking nasty eat dick for lunch your gay ass
Just ate bull cock … Just because you don’t like it I suggest you shut your fucking mouth
Amazing penises!
”Throws my coffee”
Ok so I would probably eat your penis first.
This is pure fuckery. As a vegitaring I only eat the human variety.
Why do girls have Vargina?
Animal cruelty will continue as long as people pay for it to continue. There was zero logical reason to support this. It’s nothing to be proud of, nothing worthy of bragging. I wonder if it brought you the attention you so desperately craved enough to participate in this depravity? Cruelty is not cultural. People from all across the globe are speaking out against these atrocities. One day we will all look at this in the disgust it deserves.
Tbh I actually went to this place before and the waitress gave me a penis shaped lollipop that was as big as the cake. Pls dont judge me but…
Sick bastards!!!
thank you for helping my prostate cancer implant in my tiddies.
Can’t believe you were stupid enough to eat a “black dog penis”. It tasted dirty oh really ? What an idiot. These barbarians beat street dogs to death and boil them alive and then you eat their penis. Hey that was an awesome experience globe trotter !! How stupid can people be
Although I don’t disagree with your overall tone or intention, they can’t both beat a street dog to death AND boil it alive now can they…
Very interesting article, very descriptive and informative. I don’t plan to take travel to Bejing anytime soon as you can imagine. I don’t want to get sick or be quarantined.
However, I hear it is a very beautiful country and I love the language.
Thank you for the tour. Very nicely done. Take care.
You suck for condoning the abuse of animals dude. Seriously you are a low piece of garbage.
I bet you enjoy eating a real person’s penis too.
I had never considered cooking a cock before putting it in my mouth.
I want to eat that
@Michael Turtle & other readers: China and it’s so called delicacies!!! Let me tell about another “delicacy” or “food” of China! It’s nothing but Virgin Boy Urine soaked and boiled eggs! Yes you heard right! Please google as it’s just gross! Who is going to try it!
Did you really eat dog and turtle? You are a sick individual. There is something seriously wrong with you.
Do u know that in China how they kill street dogs for their meat? Do u know when u pay money to try to tase animal penis they hade to kill these poor animal first ? Are u same cruel as these Chinese ? Where are from? Do u have any Knowledge or u are really an idiot?!
I heard a long time ago bout a year a China man on a plane started to eat a 13 in donkey penis in front a family with kids see this all go down. Before they got slant eye to stop with his lunch he ate the head of the donkey penis and he still had 13 more inches to go they measure it after they almost had to shoot the hungry gook and he done are the head of it ( 4in by 5or6 in) donkeys have big dick heads but that’s nothing for Asians they can do or eat any male human or animal penis. These penis smugglers kill there African guides as soon as they get enough penis to head home they cut the guides penis off to and took them but they consumed them before they boarded the plane they didn’t get caught with humane penis but they no they cut them off and figured they ate them sitting at the camp fire roasting 3 Africa men’s digs tell jokes drinking beer. Sick people
I’m Chinese myself but I don’t think this is very sanitary bro I mean penises? Really?
Although I don’t disagree with your overall tone or intention, they can’t both beat a street dog to death AND boil it alive now can they…
Hey Pundit, post your response in the right place will you! Post much do you?
I heard a long time ago bout a year a China man on a plane started to eat a 13 in donkey penis in front a family with kids see this all go down. Before they got slant eye to stop with his lunch he ate the head of the donkey penis and he still had 13 more inches to go they measure it after they almost had to shoot the hungry gook and he done are the head of it ( 4in by 5or6 in) donkeys have big dick heads but that’s nothing for Asians they can do or eat any male human or animal penis. These penis smugglers kill there African guides as soon as they get enough penis to head home they cut the guides penis off to and took them but they consumed them before they boarded the plane they didn’t get caught with humane penis but they no they cut them off and figured they ate them sitting at the camp fire roasting 3 Africa men’s digs tell jokes drinking beer. Sick people
Maybe someday a higher power will come to earth (Asia) and kill all the men on the whole continent and cut off the man parts off (penis,ball) genitals and the penis and eat them as soon as they kill the male subject they come off of now that would be great Karma at its best
Weirdest. I Wonder where we can get the human variety. You know like all the differe. I wonder what this man’snt cultures gender part taste like. Ohh! Kinda grelisely watch out for that vain like a twizzler. Oh The us could season them with their own traditional spices. What do you think.
I would love to dine in at this lovely penis restaurant as i am a informative or you could say one of the head staff of the Beijing food community looking at these pictures makes me wonder what the taste of this succulent beautiful meat taste like.
Oh no, my brethren! Don’t end up like this
See… nothing is wasted for the Chinese.. every part is food ..
They eat anything with 4 legs that moves except for tables and chairs.
amazing food very tasty
Penis of any animal is a useless food. No one in the world likes it. Everyone says the same thing: tough rubbery texture, no flavor. The only cultures that eat it are superstitious cultures who believe in sympathetic magic, i.e. “if you eat penis you will become like a penis, lusty and virile”, which has no scientific basis whatsoever.
I had to go to China for some background filming and we ate at this restaurant & I think I had the doggie dick and it was surpriseingly delicous. I know I didn’t have the lamb penis as 1 of the crew wanted in on that baaad piece of meat.